It is what it is.

This post is dedicated to people who are either accident prone or hold inadequate mind-body coordination skills. This is not to share tips on overcoming these traits but simply to let the acceptance sink in and chant internally ‘it is OK.’

As someone who carries both these traits, the conversations sometimes can turn really funny, and those listening might even think you are bluffing. And it is not their fault. ๐Ÿ˜›

Imagine if this was one such conversation –

Patient – Doc, I have this pain bothering me for a while now, and I wanted to get it checked.

Doctor – OK, how long have you had this pain? Did you fall or run into something unknowingly?

Patient – Silence

Doctor – Go ahead; this will help me narrow down the cause and diagnosis before running further tests to confirm.

Patient – Well, this is not a recurring pain. It comes and goes occasionally. Pause

Doc – Patiently listening That is OK, go ahead. Tell me.

Patient – OK, I ran into the wall this once, and a few days before, it was the bedpost, and then I fell down one day out of the blue, then there were maybe 3 or 4 other falls like that in the last year. I might have run into a few more objects around me, more or less around the same time. I think I also tripped over my other leg a few times. And,โ€ฆ

Doc – Sigh Please, I think we have what we need. Please get a full-body X-ray; we will see what the reports say. And, sometimes, change in the environment might help heal faster. Please consider moving to a secluded desert for a few weeks.

Patient – But, will this move really help? There will still be the wind and sand there, and my leg might get caught, and I might fall.

Doc – You know what, people warned me. They warned me that this would be a tiresome job, and I did not understand then. I am done.
turns to type the resignation letter.

Patient – So, do I bring back those X-ray reports to you, or would you be recommending me to another doctor.

Doc – presses the call button, and a nurse walks in. I need a doc asap.

PS:
1. I have the utmost respect for those in the medical profession and their patience on the job. This is a lighthearted, fun post and should be treated like so.
2. The dialogue might be a tad bit exaggerated, but my consultations more or less go on similar lines, and I am often lost on where to start and how to end. And, don’t get me started on the questions I have.
3. If you know of someone who is either accident prone or holds inadequate mind-body coordination skills, DO NOT tell them to be careful next time. Trust me, we try. ๐Ÿ™‚


When your worst nightmare comes true.

Have you ever thought of that one thing that you don’t want to be doing? Even in your worst nightmares, you don’t want to even consider a remote possibility you could be like that individual?

If you are from the Indian or the Asian community, this will make all the sense in the world.

Here I am on a fine day, taking a quick break to figure out the best way to store a set of ripe bananas to avoid those friendly tiny bees hovering around them. While I am at it, I hear noises next door.

Now, I know that I might have a new neighbor, as I noticed some movements around in the last couple of days.

When I sensed the possibility that these new neighbors are outside their door doing not sure what. I took it as a perfect opportunity to make a sly move to snoop on them.

To execute the plan, I rushed (earlier than usual) to collect my garbage bag and place it in the bin outside. While the plan failed and I reentered my house with no sight of this new neighbor, something occurred while closing the door behind.

Did I just become one of those aunties we often mock?

This moved me into a state of shock, and it took me a few minutes to recover.

On introspection, I realized if these were the non-covid times, I would have very well prepped a small dish and would have knocked on their door at a saner time of the day and officially welcomed them.

But with COVID, my paranoia, and since this event only occurred a couple of days after my first jab of vaccination hyping my paranoia, I might have resorted to this unthinkable act.

So, here I am, hoping and praying to the universe that this was ONLY one of those rare, never-to occur events in my lifetime.

Whoever said curiosity killed the cat never managed to share tips on how to save the cat.

Disclaimer – To the past, present, and future neighbors, where I am now, or going to be in the future, please know that I am a nice person in general, and I have often been told I am too good for this world. ๐Ÿ˜€

Word play with food.

Who/what am I?

Clues – I could either be a vegetable, fruit, spice, or a condiment.

  1. Got your pay yet? = Celery
  2. Drum roll, please. = Drumstick
  3. Let the beat drop. = Beetroot
  4. Guard the bottles. = Bottle Gourd
  5. Stay away from the rooms. = Mushrooms
  6. Pump the invites and call close to kin. = Pumpkin
  7. Stepped on your mate’s toe, did you? = Tomato
  8. Chilly, outside, isn’t it? = Chilli
  9. Is bae ill? = Basil
  10. Check the kitchen for leaks. = Leek
  11. How was the event? = Radish
  12. He has been green with jealousy. = Green Bean
  13. ‘Oh! Man another sin?,’ says the universe. = Cinnamon
  14. Safe run! = Saffron
  15. It is quiet & peaceful, isn’t it? Peas
  16. Chew your food right to avoid any hazards.= Artichoke
  17. Who said what? ‘Well, as per Gus….’ = Asparagus
  18. Spill the sauce. = Sauce
  19. How are the girls doing? Rosemary
  20. I will catch up with you soon, bud.= Ketchup

Update: Added the answers & two more items to the list – 19&20. ๐Ÿ˜€


An unexpected result

Disclaimer – Rant ๐Ÿ™‚

”Universe has a wicked sense of humor.”

Over the years, if I learned one thing, is when things go out of hand, there is somewhere a subtle sarcasm you are graced with.

That subtle yet not so subtle sarcasm, in this case, happens to be a kid, more specifically, the siblings’ kid. I love that brat, but no one warned me that one should not spend too much time with the mum when she is expecting.

There was a point in life where I disliked kids. (Yes! I was that person). Until the time came when the sibling gave the news, years back. I wanted to mentally prepare myself, so I don’t despise the being; hence I was ”being there” for both, so to speak. It was all fun and games when the sibling and I used to go for long walks, gobble ice creams secretly, and had the much-needed bonding time.

The brat arrives, and my emotional radar takes a 360-degree turn. I went from disliking kids to loving them magically, within a second, after she was laid in my arms. And, unbelievably, so, as I kept volunteering in the toddler years to clean the poop and the nasties. That says it all.

As if I did not shock myself enough, the real shock arrives and still does today, as the brat grows and continues to evolve. Ideally, you would expect the majority of the personality trait comes from mum or dad or a combination of both. But the brat takes after me, and HOW? There is even an inside joke in the family that the brat is 98% me, 1.5% the mum, and .5% the dad. And, all I can say and think is sorry for my mum.

Oh, boy! You hear your life stories and listen to incidents you did as a kid, but when you relive those moments and see the real-life reel in front of your eyes, you feel sorry for those who had to deal with you as a kid, especially if you are the black sheep in the family.

I am now stuck with a hyperactive, over-enthusiastic, very talkative, and full of energy being. When I need to scold the brat for something impish that was done, I feel guilty. Not because I am scolding a being but because I would have done the exact same thing or even better did. The situation is so out of hand that when the brat gets, ”Don’t do this” or “Why, Oh! Why” from the mum. I am not sure if it’s meant for me or the brat, so we both respond. It’s all innocent fun, of course, but still, it is daunting at times. All I can say is poor mum and poor sibling. I guess it is what it is.

A word of caution, when your mum says, ‘Wait till you have kids, you will know,’ do watch out and stir away from friends & family who might be having kids as well. Maintain a safe distance and use technology to communicate. Keep the result in mind.


Image credits – Image by nvtrlab from Pixabay

Life is a lot like this.

Life is a lot like this.

You go up to the terrace on a lovely winter evening with a hot cup of spiced tea. You take a breath of fresh air and enjoy your cuppa. And, with the last sip, you wonder what to do next. You leave the empty cup behind and walk to your favorite spot and suddenly feel the rain pouring in on you.

As you play in the rain and jump in the puddles, you slow down to notice the environment around you, the walls next to you that is dripping water, the floor where you stand – little smooth little rocky balancing the water in their palms. Then you start playing with one such small rock and caress it with your big toe and nudge it a little. Only to realize that what you thought was a hard rock was nothing but hardened pigeon poop you just squished.

You reflect on life decisions that led to this moment, wash it off, and move onโ€”the trauma seeping in once in a while.

Another day comes by, and it rains again. You repeat what you did back then but with a little more caution this time. Because you learned your lesson, and you are wiser than back then. Now, you know better.


Image credits – Image by JanneG from Pixabay

The secret ingredient.

Ma never let us in the kitchen.
Neither at home nor at her restaurant.

Years later, she lies on her death bed and calls in all her near and dear ones for one last gathering.

“I have something to share.
The key ingredient to my secret recipes.
It’s in a hidden compartment of the restaurant’s deep freezer.”

She smiles with pride and takes one last breath, leaving everyone in the room, confused.

A few days after the ceremony, we head to the restaurant, go up to the deep freezer, and start looking for the secret compartment.

After a few minutes’ search, we find a box filled with ice. On chipping through the ice, we pull out a plastic bag. And in that plastic bag was a neatly folded paper.

This is a big deal. Ma was always protective of her recipes, and none of us thought we would see this day.

With an invisible drum roll in the background, I step to the front and take the paper out to read.

“C’mon, what does it say?” Ask the curious lot.

I turn around, clear my throat, and read – ‘You wish.’

Everyone bursts out laughing.
Ma always did have a good sense of humor.


Image credits – Image by G4889166 from Pixabay

Life and its ways.

Max has always been uber positive and fun. He loved being outdoors, enjoyed the company of his friends, and was always the center of attention. He was the star!

But as life has its way to jinx all the good things, Max was jinxed too. Everything changed one day when his mum announced that they are moving.

‘What?’
‘Why do we have to move?’

‘When are we returning?
‘Can my friends not come with us?’

‘So, many questions. So, many unanswered questions.’

The preparations started, and every corner of the house he runs to; all he hears is THE MOVE. He did not take this too well and shut himself from the grownups. And finally, the day was here.

The new place was not so bad, after all. In fact, Max started to love it, so beautiful, so serene and the Eiffel tower โ€“ that was his favorite spot. But this love lasted only for a couple of days until he started missing the hustle & bustle of New York, the amazing events he was always invited to. Most of all, he dearly missed his friends.

‘Will I ever be able to make friends again?’ he sighed.

But life has its way, and it does not always jinx the good things. One day when he and his mum were walking down the road, someone called out his mum’s name.

The mums clicked instantly and he sensed that, though he could not understand what they were talking about. It was a language he was not familiar with. All he got was the word ‘neighbour.’

Who is that hiding behind?’ He was intrigued.

Finally, the introductions took place. At the start, he found it difficult to understand his new buddy, but Max was a quick learner, and just like the mums, they had an instant connection as well.

And guess what? He just got invited to the first birthday party.

Wooohooo!

He was so delighted that he let out a bark so loud he didn’t even know existed in him.


Image credits – Image by animatoreman from Pixabay

The deadly clinks.

Clink, Clink, Clink.

The sound of those anklets has been driving her crazy. It’s the same sound every night, the same time, and it sends shivers down her spine. She wanted to open the door one too many times, but something stopped her.

“Isn’t this how people die in horror films? Why feed the curiosity. Let me just brave it up.”

Today, I am not letting this clink distract me. I am going to prepare something interesting for dinner and put on something nice to watch on TV.”

So, she goes off to prepare her favorite meal. A few moments later, she has the dinner plate in her hand and puts on a comedy film.

Wait! She pauses the screen.

“Why is the sound getting louder today? Why do I feel it moving towards the main door?”

She chokes on her food, takes a moment to recover, and almost manages to catch a breather. Then she hears a knock at the door, and her heart skips a beat, quite literally.

As her spirit leaves her body and wanders into the corridor, she sees her new next-door neighbor standing outside her house, holding a box.

“Why do I smell something sweet? Was she the one who knocked?”

And wait, SHE has the anklets ON. Oh! The clinking sound! So all this whileโ€ฆโ€ฆ”

A pat on her back brings her back to reality. She turns around and sees a she-ghost who lets out a huge laugh and says, “You do know that Indian she-ghosts wear saree and anklets only in movies, right? That’s not our universal dress-code, otherwise. Should we get started with your orientation program, then?” 


Image credits – Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

Whatcha doin’?

What hobbies are you picking up this season?

During the quarantine, some of us might be picking up a new hobby while some of us might be looking to bring back an old and almost forgotten one.

What kind does yours fall into? Is it a conventional one?

One of the many hobbies I had was to make demonic or any weird noises. I picked it up in my younger days, watching horror films, and before I knew it, I became a moderate pro at it.

As one could imagine, this was not appreciated at home. It was not like I mimicked characters from every genre. I was mainly focused on one dreadful one (pun intended). So, I was humbly asked to NOT showcase my talent anymore. I found a loophole and used to practice only when the coast was clear. Not to brag, but at one point, I almost gave myself a scare listening to the sound I had just recorded on my phone. I still continued the practice, but the frequency drastically reduced. To date, I have been asked tone down when I initiate attempts at home, and for the undeniable reasons, I can not try this outdoors.

Very recently, I was watching a horror film with the family, and as the background music starts, without realizing I played along. This resulted in one of two things – I re-discovered that old habits die hard; I might have to look out for a new place of stay once the lock-down is lifted.


Image credits – Image by OpenClipart-Vectors from Pixabay

Dots in the head.

How often do you look back and realize that half your early life was a lie, because of the story you created in your head?

A series of childhood events lead me to connect dots with my ever-so creative brain. So well, into my early childhood, I grew up thinking that I was not really cared for and possibly an adopted kid. Years later, when maturity hit early, and I opened about my childhood feelings during my mid-teens, my life changed all over again.  

I realized that back then, while nature vs. nurture played up my psyche, my eavesdropping contributed to most of the story’s baseline.

Few eavesdropping instances and enlightenment long after – 

  1. I was a puny, not-so-little dark-skinned baby when I was born. – True statement but not as monstrous as I visualized. 
  2. I realized beauty routines are best to start as a toddler, so I scoured myself with my poop. – Quite a few toddlers have done that activity, so I was no exception. 
  3. I got shoved into a garbage bin as a toddler. So, I overheard one too many times. – Back in the days, my great grandmom feared that I would be mistaken for a kid from the tribal group in the village. And, she hid me beside a basket when someone from their community dropped by to our place. (Still silly to hear but love makes you do weird things sometimes).  
  4. The standard sibling statement of, ‘you are adopted’ circulated in the house. – ALL siblings say this, and this is a cardinal rule in the older sibling manual.
  5. I ran away from the house when I was 2, which kept itching at the back of my head that the family did not bring back the right kid home. More on it here – Escapades of a 2-year-old, me!  I accepted that I was & am in the right place
  6. Last but not least, I have always been ever-so-different from any immediate or extended family members; this did not add well with point 5. – I learned to appreciate the differences and started to love them. 

Moral of the story – 

  1. If you are a kid when grown-ups talk, please don’t eavesdrop. ๐Ÿคญ True to all 6 of 6. 
  2. Ask questions when you have one. The story in your head might be far from reality. It might be exciting and novel-worthy, but still.

Image Credits – Image by Gordon Johnson from Pixabay

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